She Calls Herself Beautiful: The Call to Freedom
Like the storm blowing wildly, slamming the shutters
Her emotions push her deeper, under her covers.
She is tired, so tired, of battling the force of her turmoil,
That has defined her, confined her, and made her recoil.
The longing for freedom gnaws deeper within,
It carves out a hollow that can be seen through her skin.
Her soul echoes loudly, the pain of her plight
That fights her interior every day, every night.
Her anxiety roars like the thunder- it pounds,
Peace again eluding the bed where she’s found.
If onlys, and should-haves, and maybes, betray,
Her heart desperate to hear what her saviour might say.
This profound desire rages, to be free from the lies:
“This battle makes you ugly, unworthy in God’s eyes.”
Her weapons have been challenged, thrown down and rejected
This hidden struggle with sin, fiercely resurrected.
And yet
Her unstoppable desire for her slavery’s unbinding
Calls forth words of truth deeply planted- inwardly reminding.
Despite the affliction, the thorn she yet bears,
His strength is sufficient, His affection she wears.
Wrapped in His arms as she lays yet unable
She breathes in His grace and feels once again stable.
Her praises rise up from beneath her tight shackles,
They start with a mumble, turn to a shout and then laughter.
Whispered songs turn to declarations, she is not defeated
God will yet redeem all she has been cheated.
His relentless love pours down like the rain outside, steady
Available, and able to defeat every enemy.
The storm passes over, the winds calmed inside her,
Hope billows up with His words a reminder.
She’s still in His presence, no shame from her failings
Joy starts edging out like the sun, her fears slowly waning.
She’s been freed for freedom, and it will yet imbue her
This battle won’t define her, it will refine and renew her.
I am personally waging what I thought was a behavioural war but is actually a spiritual one. A war that I have been fighting my whole life. For too long I have waged with physical weapons, weapons that leave me frustrated and defenceless against the storms the enemy throws at me. But the call of freedom is unstoppable, for I have been freed to be free. In this moment and in this meanwhile, in the time before God releases this struggle from me, I will wage again with the weapons of the spirit. It is His love and His grace, not the accusations and the habits driven by fear that will release me from the bondage I find myself in. May you also find strength and hope while still ‘in the shackles’ of your afflictions.