Real Conversations: Fighting for Joy in Chronic Illness (featuring the Shippers)
Meet the shipper family
Today I’m sharing my interview with the incredible Shipper family: Matthew and Rachel. After their first two children were born, Rachel had a third and ectopic pregnancy and soon afterwards started experiencing an unexpected functional decline. This was the beginning of a long and ongoing battle with an un-named neurological condition that they are still seeking answers for.
There’s been ups and downs on this journey of long-suffering, adjusting to living with a disability that is ever shifting. They talk about the ways they continue to choose joy and fight for living life to the fullest even with daily challenges and limitations.
The Shippers continue to seek community, find ways to serve others, and find ways to cheer their kids on within the reality of the confines of Rachel’s unexplained illness. Disability can make it hard to be part of normal life. Everything in the day is harder: getting up, getting dressed, exercises, eating, all of those things are a struggle. And yet the Shipper family still tries new things, adventuring up mountains and along cross country ski paths with various adapted wheelchairs for Rachel. They chose to move closer to extended family and to the wilderness that they love to explore, and maximize family time through adventures outdoors and homeschooling. They continue to persist in joy even amidst the hardships Rachel’s functional decline presents. And they haven’t given up on serving others, opening up their home for bible studies, and deep community.
They live a full life IN disability.
Listen in to the whole interview here.
Living with chronic illness
Here are a few things that stood out to me as we talked about how the Shipper family is persevering through chronic illness:
Joy is a choice, and that choice impacts other people. It’s an intention that you set your mind towards. It’s not a feeling.
Continue to engage in normal life as much as possible, and do the things you love.
There is grace for the learning curve of always having to adjust to changing functional abilities.
It’s hard to adapt to new things all the time but it’s possible to adjust expectations and still try new things.
In order to thrive, you need to ask for help.
Grieving what’s been and showing up for what is, is a continual tension.
It’s essential to learn to hold future plans loosely.
Choosing joy
Here are some questions that I hope may bring some guidance and encouragement if you are facing something similar:
What are ways you can choose joy even within your limitations or disability?
How do you need to ask for help in order to live life more fully?
What trouble shooting do you need to do, to do the things you love? What creative solutions can you come up with?
Even though there are parts of your story you can’t change, what can you change to engage more in life, instead of less?
How can you turn towards life instead of hopelessness?
What ways can you turn towards meaningful community, even with your limitations?
What posture is God asking you to have right now: submitting to what IS or fighting for what could be?
